- most successful gift you ever gave a husband or partner
I don't know about most successful. I did get him a trouser press one year! He so wasn't expecting it but he's used it to bits. I've also given him a wooden box with memories of our first year in it. Receipts from things we did together, film tickets, photo's, copies of menu's or meals we cooked, jokes, text messages we sent, places we went, things like that. That's in pride of place on his bedside table. He loves beautiful notebooks so I usually try and get him something aged and leatherbound and beautiful. A lightweight coat for autumn/spring our first Christmas. A grey wool jacket with a high collar and epaulettes the next. This year I got him a pendulum he saw at a holistic fair. Or fayre. !

- ideas for 20- and 30-something women (it's hard being the cool Godmother every year!)
A plain black throw that I've stitched with a few glittering black beads along the hem. A bracelet of silver hearts and freshwater pearls. A leather bracelet with two silver hearts hanging off it with the names of the children engraved on. Glass ornaments I pick up in secondhand shops throughout the year. A bone china mug with an outrageous Manolo style shoe painted on it.

- ideas for 'tweens and 'teens
Bags their mother's wouldn't let them buy off the high street. My cousin used to buy me really edgy handbags that I'd've been too scared to buy for myself! I used to take them to bed with me they were so stunning. Tartan and black patent leather is the one I still remember. Gurgle.

- best gift a girlfriend ever gave you
Ah. My best friend from school and I have an agreement that we'll go and buy a CD for ourselves, and that's what we give each other. We rarely see each other, we always forget otherwise, it WORKS!!!

Best gift this year has been the four-day Sign Language course I did. My parents-in-law bought it for me. It was £33 and it has changed my life - I kid you not. I've also thought about asking for a cooking course (a day or a couple of evenings). They are something that would be a great learning curve and you can carry what you've learned forward.

One of the best gifts I've ever given (they agreed with me!) is the book "Century: One Hundred Years of Human Progress, Regression, Suffering and Hope 1899-1999", edited by Bruce Bernard. I've bought it for a few families I've known and they've all loved it. It's such an amazing book - every home should have one. Also "The Earth from the Air", that wonderful book of photo's taken by Yann Arthus. It's beautiful and also a wake up call.

One year I bought everyone I knew a copy of Patrick Susskind's "Perfume". Not exactly festive, but it was my complete obsession at the time.

Barb I couldn't agree with you more about buying all through the year. I like to do that, although persuading my husband that it's less horrifying that way takes some doing! We've got all but four of the presents already. One of them I've just sussed out (my father-in-law is a chocolate fiend so we are just going to amass a lot of different kinds of good chocolate and make him a Hamper of Happiness!!!). The other is my sister-in-law's mother's new boyfriend. I think we'll probaby buy something from Oxfam Unwrapped. We try and buy something for everyone from there, so that we've spent money on people who need it. Last year we bought a planting of trees in India for my mother, school dinners in an African school for my dad, water purification tablets for Mr Tater's mum and ... I can't remember what it was for Mr PT's dad. Half a goat maybe? No, actually it was chickens. The best thing husband bought me a couple of years ago was sponsorship of a child in Malawi through Plan. We write three times a year and keep track of him and his family and his village. (I really wanted to sponsor a girl but he forgot that bit - and it didn't matter in the end!) Husband has also bought me a chiminea (but it cracked last winter so I need another one!) and another time a water feature.

This year I am being bought my reiki practise couch by my family of in-laws (no sign of my parents), and I've seen a few other must have's that I've pointed out to Will throughout the year. Socks with bobbles on coming in at £8, and a dishwasher weighing in at £250! (I won't get it, but I need to raise awareness!) And a whole host of other things in between. Whatever I spot during the year I text to him and bluetooth him the photo. He keeps that and it's up to him what he gets. I also give him access to all my wishlists - Etsy, Amazon, all of them, and he can fill in gaps from there.

Sorry, long!

We made our own cards last year too. Pictures of Parsnip the dog and Saskia the cat wearing a santa hat. I think everybody just cried with laughter. Oh God, yes, we knit presents too, and crochet re-usable bags out of garden twine and string. It's cute, it's cheap, it's quick, people love them and use them.

The husband got wind of this thread and asked me to post again citing the Scrabble tile cufflinks I got him - one is his initial, the other is mine. Also a pair of cufflinks that you can put a tiny photo in each one. I put a photo of our (then) puppy and our cat. He gets a lot of comments on those. There's another pair I got that look like a miniature eye test, but if you read it actually says "goawayyouareboringme." He's not allowed to wear those for interviews and board meetings! He mentioned something else but I've forgott.... no, he said somewthing about the jewellery I've got him. A watch (he bought me the ladies version the next year). A silver bracelet. Couple of rings. Oh I know.... when we were on honeymoon I picked up two little stones off the beach where Aphrodite's Rock is. I made them into cufflinks for our second wedding anniversary. I guess that's an idea.

My FIL (whom I love dearly I should add) is a terror to buy for. This year - because he LOVES chocolate, we are putting together a chocolate hamper. For the last couple of years we've given him a subscription to a magazine he likes. Once we all clubbed together to get him a flight in a vintage aircraft. Books on motor racing, musicians (he is one).... But he is tricky. I can see me giving him an umbrella one year!!! Or gloves....

Nancy, hi. I remember when I had been out of work for quite a while and had not very much money. A friend of mine arranged to have my favourite dinner sent to me by a supermarket shopping service. A duck to roast, red wine, potatoes to mash, peas, and a pudding - I can't remember now what it was. Possibly jam roly poly and custard. It absolutely lifted my heart and goodness ME did I need a proper meal by that stage. Especially one I hadn't had to pay for and so wasn't worrying about while I ate it.

When Will and I have been low on cash, we've bought gifts from second hand shops (on eo fmy favourite vases, second hand books), and we've made things. You could have a challenge present, where you each have to make something for everyone else. We weren't allowed to spend more than £5, so $5 or $10 for you. It's REALLY hard work so you should suggest it now and give them five weeks to get creative!!! You do get some really nice, unexpected things though. He made me a bracelet and I made him a framed collage.

It's also my personal feeling that if people are straight talking - without being scary - you can say anything to anyone. So you may as well say "look, I don't want to annoy you or patronise you or make you feel bad, but I REALLY want you to come to our house and eat us out of house and home for at least one day because then I wouldn't worry about you being out of work over Christmas. Please may I?" They'll probably be delighted! Unless it's expensive for them to get to you. That might take some negotiating. Their petrol as a present??! I don't know.

I'm sorry Nancy, I didn't read your post properly. How to give them presents without them feeling bad.

I reckon just give them what you would have given them if they hadn't been out of work. You might not get the kind of thing you usually get, but that doesn't matter really does it? It's just nice to see them. And, you know, when we were young and in rubbish jobs and earning very little, our presents were still amazing even though we were poor! So go for it.

Or talk to the person who organises the budgets for each house, and agree a familywide present budget. That way you're all having difficulty finding something for $15 a head!!! That could actually be quite funny.

Nancy I think your ideas are great (especially love the bag with seashells and sand!) - and the rented place will be such a surprise. It's something to look forward to, and when you're out of work, that's the thing that helps most. The last four years I've been out of work, I've focussed on a wedding, a christening, an alcoholic lunch out with a friend who can't cook and can't invite me to his flat for a return dinner, a trip to husband's parents that's holiday. It keeps you going, and that week is going to be aMAZing for all of you.

I was also remembering the Obama's thing over the summer holiday's. Didn't they do a challenge? Like, all the people had to put together some kind of entertainment or something?? That doesn't cost much and everyone gets to look silly! I am seriously tempted to suggest that to the husband's family. (I know right away who will complain that it sounds like too much fun...)

I've been wondering what to get my parents. This is tricky territory. For reasons that are too lengthy and boring to go into here. But, I thought I'd get my dad a copy of "Bolt", because I just know that he will fall off the sofa laughing at that hamster.